Retirement expert claims that you should have twice your salary saved when you turn 35

Excuse us, we're just going to go over here and have a small panic attack...

In a world where the middle class has essentially stopped existing, and people are either just rich enough to be able to barely afford a mortgage, or just poor enough to essentially be renting forever - if ONLY we were all able to stop buying guacamole long enough to buy a house, right?? - this new report has only struck further terror into the hearts of young people.

As per Marketwatch, retirement experts claim that by the age of 35, you should have DOUBLE your annual salary saved already.

Is anyone else having trouble breathing?

The Boston-based investment firm Fidelity Investments released their findings back in January, but the general public only picked up on it this week. The firm said:

"By 30, you should have a decent chunk of change saved for your future self — in fact, ideally your account would look like a year’s worth of salary [...] so if you make $50,000 a year, you’d have $50,000 saved already. By 35, you should have twice your salary."

Seriously... is there even air in this room? I can't breathe.

Thankfully, it seems like we aren't alone in this boat, as the world seemed to have a collective stress-induced migraine to the report, too:

I can't be only one who reads this & thinks "Who are they TALKING to?" I didn't have that much saved in my 30s. No one I knew had that much saved their 30s & most of us were solid middle class. Is this advice only for the rich? If so, maybe start w/"95% of Americans can ignore." https://t.co/HlTQM5sYGx

— Jeaniene Frost (@Jeaniene_Frost) May 15, 2018

When did my mom start writing articles https://t.co/s00nY8jTTq

— Erica Henderson (@EricaFails) May 15, 2018

By 42, you should be able to lift thrice your own weight.
By 16, you should have written your first screenplay.
By 8, you should have your self portrait hanging in the Philadelphia museum of art. https://t.co/BtIYQkPQVD

— Anna Hughes (@AnnaGHughes) May 15, 2018

[turns pockets inside out; two moths fly out]
oh no my moths https://t.co/SpVs7AVfqO

— Anthony Oliveira (@meakoopa) May 15, 2018

By 35, you should have collected all the Chaos Emeralds and have half the Infinity Gems in your grasp, say retirement experts. https://t.co/IE3ZMN0PkK

— Andrien 🔜 E3 (@EscoBlades) May 15, 2018